Do you have a fear of labor? Then you might consider hypnobirthing — a natural birthing approach that focuses on managing fear and creating positive associations with the process of labor.
For all moms, but for first-time moms especially, childbirth can be a frightening prospect.
For some women the fear of labor is so bad, it’s considered a phobia. It’s called tokophobia, and it affects between 2.5% and 14% of women. Tokophobia usually refers to the fear of pain associated with childbirth.
I don’t know if I’d meet the clinical definition of tokophobia, but I was definitely terrified of the prospect of pushing a human being out of my body. So when I got pregnant, one of the first things I looked into was pain-free childbirth.
Can Labor Be Painless?
At the time of my pregnancy, I was a 35-year-old first-time mother with a debilitating fear of childbirth and a low pain threshold. I consider brushing my hair painful.
But there was no going back. I was having a baby, so it was time for me to confront my fears and find a way to have a positive (and preferably pain-free) birth experience.
Initially, my thinking was simple. I just wanted to know how soon after contractions start I could get an epidural. I never even entertained the thought that I might not need pain medication.
So when I googled “pain-free labor,” I was shocked to find a plethora of stories of pain-free or almost pain-free birthing. How is this possible? Here’s what these stories had in common:
- it’s often a second or a subsequent birth
- a woman had a doula or a midwife to assist her with her pain-free and drug-free birth
- a woman had positive expectations about birth
- a woman had family members who’ve also had an easy labor
- a woman took a study course that prepared her for a different kind of labor.
Inspired and hopeful, I started looking for the right class to give me the best chance of having a comfortable labor.
That’s how I came across HypnoBirthing – a birth preparation program that focuses on self-hypnosis to get rid of fear, tension, and pain associated with childbirth.
Again, I wasn’t considering natural birth (oh horror!), I just wanted to learn some techniques that would help me get through the initial stages of labor.
What is HypnoBirthing?
HypnoBirthing is a recent resurgence of a natural birth philosophy that emphasizes the wisdom of a woman’s birthing body and aims to achieve a gentle calm birth with minimal interventions.
The “hypno” in Hypnobirthing refers to the use of positive affirmations, visualization, meditation, and relaxation techniques to enable a woman to let go of her fears and embrace her birthing experience.
The Role of Fear in Labor
Hypnobirthing is based on one simple idea: when you relax, your body produces endorphins that act as natural painkillers.
When you’re tense or fearful, your body produces catecholamine — a hormone that causes the constriction of the birthing muscles. It slows the labor down, leading to stronger more painful contractions.
That, in turn, results in the need for medical pain management.
So preparing for labor means learning visualization and relaxation techniques, and purging the mind from fears and negative expectations.
The HypnoBirthing Course
One warm Saturday morning my husband and I (both reluctant and skeptical) came to our first Hypnobirthing class. The instructor, a curly-haired chatty gal named Britney, sat on the floor in a yogi pose surrounded by couples just like us – young(ish) holistically-curious people expecting their first child.
We took our seats as Britney nodded in our direction and continued her self-introduction.
It was going well until she said she never actually gave birth (!!!) but witnessed many as doula. Say what??? My body immediately started tuning her out. I couldn’t believe that they allow women who’d never given birth to teach childbirth classes.
Every time she said that labor can be painless, that it can even be orgasmic, I wanted to scream: how would you know??? I even considered requesting another instructor, but her class was the only one that fit our schedule.
Our weekly meet-ups consisted of informal lectures, birthing videos, exercises with a birth ball, and learning the breathing and visualization techniques of HypnoBirthing.
We also learned a new, more positive language around birth. For example, instead of “contraction” you’re supposed to say “surge,” instead of “pain” – “pressure” etc.
We were never openly discouraged from having a hospital birth (in fact, it was still the plan for me). Rather, we were given information on how to have a gentle birth in any environment.
By the end of the 5-week course, my skepticism diminished, but my husband became a full-blown convert! All he talked about was surge breathing, deepening scripts, and womb music.
Touched by his enthusiasm, I started entertaining the possibility of natural birth, and we both couldn’t wait to apply our newly acquired skills to a real-life birth.
Debilitating fear turned into excitement and certainty that whatever happened, we could handle it. We also got ourselves the “supplies”: a birth ball, a blindfold, a Rainbow relaxation CD, and a printout of our birth preferences.
We were ready to meet our baby girl in the most peaceful way possible – by Hypnobirthing.
My Labor Experience after Taking a HypnoBirthing Course
Before I continue: relax. I won’t be telling you any horror stories, but I will be very honest. I believe I’ve had a very good birth experience, even though it wasn’t hypnobirthing. So reading about it can help you with your fear of labor.
My contractions started on Friday night, shortly after the dinner at my in-laws. Mild at first, they grew stronger with every hour, and by midnight I could barely sit through them.
The first thing I did was put on the Rainbow Relaxation CD we were supplied with in our class. I prepared to go through the relaxation steps (like I did every night, as part of my Hypno training).
Rainbow Relaxation, Birth Ball, And the Things That Actually Helped
Immediately I could tell that it wasn’t working. Every time the contraction (sorry, the surge) started, I tried to relax my body, but either I wasn’t relaxing, or the relaxing wasn’t working.
My husband fell asleep during the Rainbow Relaxation exercise. Clearly, it worked for him, but not for me. He wanted to be there but he was just too exhausted to stay up.
I watched him slip into a relaxed, peaceful slumber while I braced myself for a long night. I didn’t have the heart to wake him up, knowing I’m going to need him rested for the show time tomorrow. Besides, there’s no sense in both of us staying up.
I’ve spent the night bouncing on the birth ball, walking, and taking long showers (those are the things that I found helped the most with the pain).
When the morning finally came, I was ready to sprint to the hospital for that epidural. But my contractions were still too far apart and they told me to wait.
I thought that a good breakfast will give me strength for the day but as soon as I swallowed anything, it came hurling back out. Even water. I was hungry, exhausted, and extremely dehydrated.
After I threw up yet another sip of water, I called the hospital again, and this time they told me to come in.
Time to Go to the Hospital
The examination showed that I was 1 cm dilated, which was very disappointing because I’d had contractions for 15+ hours. But I was admitted anyway because of dehydration.
A friendly nurse showed me to a delivery room and hooked me up to IV fluids. Because of the fluids drip, I had to stay in bed laying on my back, which is the most painful and unnatural position for a woman in labor, I discovered.
They offered me a shot of a mild painkiller. I gladly accepted and immediately fell asleep.
I woke up with a foggy head, but at least I got some rest. Since I was still at 1 cm, the nurse encouraged me to walk around to speed up the labor.
In a hospital gown and socks, leaning on my husband’s hand, I walked in circles around the maternity ward for about an hour. Walking really helped with the contractions, I could barely feel them.
Around 5 PM the nurse checked me again: no difference. Still 1 cm opening after 20 hours. At this point, she recommended we start Pitocin (a drug that speeds up labor). I said: OK, but epidural first.
Goodbye, Hypnobirthing. Hello, Epidural
My HypnoBirthing training told me to say no to Pitocin, but my exhausted uncooperative body said yes. I needed some help. And knowing that Pitocin intensifies the contractions, I requested to get the epidural first.
That wasn’t a change of plans. In my mind, I always knew I was going to get it, but I wanted to wait until I felt like I absolutely needed it.
When the anesthesiologist came into my delivery room, I was shaking. I told the nurse I couldn’t keep still, and she said: “Don’t worry honey, just breathe. It’s the hormones.” The procedure was quick and painless, and soon I lost all feeling below the waist.
The rest is kind of a blur. Basically, I just slept through the contractions. I’d wake up to the beeping of the heart monitor and a weird feeling in my legs, then fall asleep again. Finally, I woke up around 2 AM in the morning, and the nurse said: “Congratulations! You’re fully dilated. The doctor is coming, it’s time to push.”
An hour and a half later I gave birth to a healthy baby girl of 7 pounds and 4 ounces.
Did HypnoBirthing Help with My Fear of Labor?
It may seem like my HypnoBirthing training was useless since I ended up having a medicated hospital birth. And yet I’m so glad I took that course!
It helped manage my anxiety during the pregnancy. It helped me stay calm through the first contractions stage. And it helped me breathe properly during the pushing stage.
Deep breathing is so important during labor! When we’re anxious or in pain we tend to hold our breath, which can create an oxygen shortage to the fetus, and lead to an emergency C-section.
Even if you don’t take Hypnobirthing or a similar class, remember to breathe, breathe, breathe!
It also opened my eyes to the possibility of having a pain-free, drug-free, gentle birth.
And although it didn’t happen this way for me (the drug-free part), I know for a fact it’s possible. I watched a video of a woman having an orgasm while giving birth, for God’s sake!
I also watched many videos of gentle water births that were so beautiful…To be honest, I’m not brave enough to attempt a drug-free birth. But I’m brave enough to admit it.
My childbirth experience was the best possible experience for me. It wasn’t traumatic, it wasn’t frightening or hectic.
And although I didn’t feel my baby coming out of my birth canal in a candlelit room with music and incense, I felt her on my chest a moment later. And what a moment it was!
I wish you all a happy, gentle, and peaceful birthing experience that’s right for you.
Lana is a San Diego-based copywriter, blogger, book author, and WAHM. Her super powers are sarcasm and making chocolate disappear. When she’s not working on her blogs or completing her doctorate in psychology, Lana enjoys crime mysteries, travel, and, regrettably, reality TV.